Praise G-d,
In my preparations and prayer for the upcoming mission Trip I will be a part of, I have been honestly terrified. Because I don't know what's going to happen, or how I'm going to work it all out. and in all of these little worries, I've managed to remember to ask for the lord's help. It never ceases to amaze me how he knows me so well, and then shows me in a way that I know is meant only for me that he cares more than I know.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm constantly walking out Jeremiah 29:11 with his help. I keep thinking; "Oh, well i haven't had my request answered" and then I do what is human & way too natural in that I lean back on my own understanding. and then its as if I could see him shaking his head going, "Brad.. if you would have waited..." and then its the ubiquitous "Sorry Dad" prayer and in the midst of all that he still blesses me beyond measure. I don't know why or how because G-d knows I dont deserve it whatsoever, and I'm not worthy of it whatsoever.
I've been such a doubting thomas the last few weeks, and worrisome, and anxious, and then G-d's like "Ok, enough..." and bam, he just blesses me by taking away in one shot all my worries.. I couldn't take it... I fell to my knees and wept, praising him, and thanking him, and apologizing and asking forgiveness for my doubt, and forgiveness for my massive lack of trust. I know now how it feels to poke your hand in the side, and how it feels when you do that the faith that you build in those moments is immense, and very powerful. Glory to G-d.
6 comments:
Hi Brad,
You have no idea how you have blessed us in our ministry. God has given you a gift and thank you for using it!
I am feeling like I can finally take a breather (after getting back from Haiti a month ago...then having two weekends of raising funds at church...then heading back to Haiti) and take time to look around me. And…that’s how I found your blog.
I love how you share your struggles and blessings in such a sincere way. I can see you are in process, as we all are! Be encouraged Brad!
OK...so you're going on a missions trip? Can you give me details? I'd love to pray for you. Please let me know even if it’s via email. THANKS!
We have learned that doing missions is not so much about you doing a work but about God doing a work in you. You will learn things about yourself and your walk while serving God in this capacity. The impact of this time will be felt for months and years. Be open!
love,
marcia
thanks for sharing Brad.
what are the dates of your trip & where are you going? I'd like to be able to pray for you.
beautifully told brad. sometimes i think doubting thomas was such a merciful picture into how most of us operate most of the time. there's some kind of weird comfort in knowing that there was somebody right there with jesus when he rose and he still doubted. it makes my own doubt a little more palatable and lets me know that the lord is probably understanding my lapses.
where are you going for your mission trip?
Hey all :) I'm leaving Feb 1st as part of the WHC FOCUS mission trip to Waveland, MS to assist with Hurricane Katrina rebuilding
and any prayer support would be great! thanks all!
Brad..this whole time I was looking at your blog but our comments weren't showing up and there we no new posts. Well, TODAY I figured out I had bookmarked just that page and not your whole blog...so nothing new was showing up. I'm still figuring internet stuff out! NOW I see you're going Feb. 1...YES, I will pray for you!!!
Blessings!!!
Thanks!!!
Post a Comment